20 Characteristics of Real Manhood

1. Lightens the Burdens of Those Around Him
The Real Man does not spend time selfishly thinking of himself or his own benefit, but regularly thinks of and seeks the welfare of others.  When it is within his power to do so he will do good things for other people, without the expectation of reward or recognition.

2. Values Himself and Others
The Real Man avoids the common, adolescent practice of seeking social dominance over others.  He does not try to establish himself as superior, but instead maintains a strong, quiet humility.  He is always willing to stand up for those who are mistreated or marginalized.

3. Views Women as Equals
The Real Man views women as equal to men, and he treats the women in his life with honor and dignity.  He refuses to engage in jokes, interactions, or relationships that support or condone the degradation, mistreatment, or sexualization of women.  Instead, he recognizes and publicizes the wonderful attributes, abilities, and contributions of women.

4. Abandons the “Man-Cave” 
The Real Man does not spend time with himself or “the guys” engaging in activities that are “macho”, selfish, and/or that appeal to the lower instincts of man.  Instead, the Real Man allots time and energy to more noble pursuits, such as the building up of marriage and family relationships, and positively contributing to his community.  The Real Man never puts “the guys” above “the wife” or “the family.”

5. Seeks Truth and Understanding
The Real Man listens patiently and intently to others in his life, especially to his family members.  He does not use aggressive or manipulative tactics to establish himself as being “right” about an issue, even when he is.  He does not seek social dominance, but instead seeks to understand the elements of truth within each person’s perspective, and allows others time to express themselves without fear of criticism.

6. Is Gentle and Respectful
The Real Man does not use force or intimidation in his relationships, but treats others with respect and dignity.  He uses his properly-developed influence to build lasting, meaningful, and productive relationships.  He is respectful and gentle toward those who might be viewed as “undesirable“ or undeserving.

7. Honors the Virtue of Women
The Real Man does not view pornography or other sexually explicit material, but instead seeks to protect the virtue and honor of women everywhere.  He recognizes the negative impacts of objectifying women and treating them as sexual objects.  He values the potential of every woman to be good and virtuous, and he treats every woman accordingly.

8. Values People More than Sex
The Real Man does not view sex as a social commodity or recreational outlet to which he is somehow entitled, nor does he view sex as something that he must have in order to be happy.  Instead, he exercises wisdom and self-restraint; he recognizes that sexual intimacy belongs in the context of a committed and loving relationship.  He understands that it is something to be shared (with mutual consent) between loving, committed partners.

9. Invests in the Happiness of Others
The Real Man takes time to plan for the welfare of others, and seeks to make special occasions memorable for them (especially for his family).  He does not neglect special events, or wait for someone else to make the arrangements.  He prepares in advance so that his efforts can demonstrate his love for others.

10. Is Wise and Unselfish with His Time
The Real Man does not waste time on video games, selfish hobbies, or other pursuits.  Instead, he uses his time to develop family relations, serve people in need, or make meaningful contributions to society.  He sees his time as a valuable gift to be used wisely.  Although he may engage in some hobbies or outlets, he does so sparingly, to refresh his mind and body.

11. Develops His Relationship to God and the Universe
The Real Man utilizes his spirituality and values to guide and limit his personal behaviors and social interactions.  He does not make decisions based on what is most immediately profitable, satisfying, or simple, but makes wise decisions with a long-term perspective in mind.  Because he values his spirituality, he consistently engages in learning and activities that  strengthen his spiritual knowledge and attributes.

12. Proactively Provides for His Family
The Real Man takes a proactive approach to providing safe and comfortable living arrangements for his family.  He does not allow himself to get discouraged or apathetic about his family’s physical welfare, but recognizes that providing for his family is one of his highest duties, and sees it as a privilege.  He humbly accepts help when needed, but continues to work toward self-reliance and fiscal security for his family.

13. Values Trust and Complete Fidelity
The Real Man avoids engaging in thoughts and actions that would hurt the feelings or violate the trust of his wife.  He stays away from relationships and contact with others that could in any way be seen as inappropriate or unfaithful.  He works to be faithful in all his thoughts, feelings, and actions, and is not swayed by those influences that would encourage otherwise.

14. Does Not Abuse Drugs or Alcohol
The Real Man recognizes the negative impacts and risks associated with substance abuse, and works to keep it out of his own life, and out of his family’s environment.  He recognizes that drug and alcohol use can detract from his mental, physical, or spiritual health; can negatively impact family relationships; and can impair ones ability to be trusted and relied upon.

15. Diligently Fulfills Family Obligations and Duties
The Real Man does not neglect family obligations and duties (including housework), in a way that leaves his wife or other family members feeling overwhelmed or resentful.  Instead, he does what he can to lighten the burdens of family members, especially his wife.  He sets an example for his children by willingly contributing to the general family welfare, wherever his efforts are needed.  He does not see himself to be above any household labor (including dishes, laundry, and toilet cleaning).

16. Invests Time and Energy in His Marriage Relationship
The Real Man takes a proactive approach to ensure that the marital relationship is developed in positive ways, and that his wife has no doubt that he loves her and wants to continually grow closer to her.  He demonstrates this by ensuring that he and his wife frequently spend quality time together (including regular dates).  He also ensures that his wife feels supported, and that the family burdens are shared.

17. Protects the Family Environment from Bad Influences
The Real Man does not bring people, materials, or philosophies into the family setting that would put the family's well being and long-term happiness at risk.  He wisely considers how to screen and limit what media, literature, and other influences are welcomed into the home.  He uses his influence to encourage only uplifting elements.

18. Is Honest and Trustworthy
The Real Man is honest in all his interactions and always seeks to find and uphold the truth.  When he engages in improper or hurtful behavior, or makes a mistake that negatively impacts others, he acknowledges his error, seeks forgiveness from those impacted, and works to prevent similar events in the future.  Instead of denying, minimizing, rationalizing, or blaming others for his behavior, he is honest, humble, and repentant.

19. Openly Expresses Love and Personal Feelings
The Real Man does not subscribe to societal trends for men, such as acting “bad”, macho, crude, or heartless.  But, he is open with his positive expressions of love for his family and others.  He is open about his inner feelings, even when they are feelings of loneliness, sadness, or hurt.  He shows compassion for others who are feeling this way.  He recognizes that emotions are part of the human condition.

20. Is Humble and Unassuming
The Real Man has slain the tendency toward self-aggrandizement and pride.  He chooses to be humble, caring, and sensitive, and is the kind of person others feel good being around.  He sees all human beings as equal in worth.  He makes his contributions to the world, without the need to announce them or to self-promote.  He is happy to see others get recognized for their accomplishments, and he humbly accepts positive feedback about his own.   

NOTE: Every man has the potential for real manhood, and it is not expected that these characteristics will come without time and effort.